Burgers! Hamburgers! Cheeseburgers!
Why would a woman be posessed by burgers?
Exploring hamburger paranoia onstage with Plasma Drive, Chicago
I’ll tell. It was a nasty, humid day in Chicago. A 19-year-old girl was skateboarding around the Edgewater neighborhood, a recent transplant from Las Vegas, Nevada. She saw a sign in a window– a drawing of a burger for 1.99 with big blue eyes, looking silently, mouthlessly, impassionately, out upon the street. It was a moment.
She redrew this burger. She redrew it again and again. It was reminiscent of a childhood nightmare. Her brother once screamed for hours after waking up in the middle of the night, soaking wet and terrified, of a vivid nightmare that would haunt him and be repeated multiple times. The entire family came to know the dream quite well: About to eat a hamburger in a dream, this little 6-year old brother was eagerly anticipating a juicy bite of meat, when a human head lurched around violently and began speaking gibberish from between the two buns. A big, dead, head. This dead head was redrawn multiple times and referenced every evening when it was time for bed. A dead head in a burger.
The burger with eyes is intoxicating. So Big Bastard was born. But not that day. Not the day the burger drawing was found. Not the day the burger was dreamt. Not the day the burger was redrawn.
A simple poem gave birth to Big Bastard.
Aint’ Two Ways About
Mayonnaise
And then Big Bastard was born. His name shall be changed to Big Mustard in a shameless cater to “Family-Friendliness,” but why bother? Rally’s has already created the Big Buford in a scandalous act of plagiarism.
Despite Big Bastard already having a MySpace page, a bio, a movie, upcoming theme song by the Velcro Lewis Group, physical reality and inspirational posters, corporations think they can sell more burgers with the visage of Big Bastard.
A fan sent this birthday present: Big Bastard altered billboard graffiti! I saw it in person. I cried.
View this video, (now with 98% of 2006 GarageBand effects), and know that BB exists. There can be only one. The BB. The Bastard. The Legend.
Look for cameos from Flaspar, Manaconda/ Plasma Drive, and the Velcro Lewis Group.