Things that exist, but it’s not clear why

Pizza pouch lanyards for people.  Pizza pouches, people.

This movie, called Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal.  Premise:  A rock star’s last concert will be broadcast live from a plane– but MURDER fouls the plan!  Tell me you don’t want to spend time with this gem.

Evil and ignorant gay-haters Westboro Baptist Church are picketing evil and ignorant gay-hater Kim Davis.  Hard to know where the win is.

Knit and stuffed anotomical animal dissections.  Inaccurate, but very cuddly.

A champagne bong, for high-class boozeheads.

Things to look forward to

Better than Glass:  Ball?  Google’s new patent is for a contact lens that communicates with devices.  It might authenticate payments, measure body stats, or even tell marketers how long you’ve been looking at an ad.  Don’t be evil, y’all.

Sarah Silverman’s starring role as a woman with depression is in the film I Smile Back, and it looks like a powerful piece.  Looking forward to it.

This could change the world.  Wearables that support healthier lifestyles for US kids, while benefitting malnourished children across the globe.  Target and UNICEF are making it happen.

Having transformed from hipster bible to some of the stupidest clickbait on the web, Vice intermittently gets a hit.  Let’s see how Vice News goes, with their new HBO newscast.

Advertising gossip

The Arby’s rebrand is getting some love lately.  I love underdog brand stories.

Westin & McSweeney’s paired up to create better OOO messages for us out-of-office auto-email-leaving types.

Publicis paid out a settlement due to a gender bias suit.  About $3M.  Think twice before you email the need for a “big swinging dick” to fill a company position, SVPs.

Burger King will not get off McDonald’s dick.  They’re trying all-day breakfast, too.  Did anyone forget we’re in an egg shortage?  Seriously.

Volkswagen’s in pain right now.  The emissions testing scandal gets scrutinized in this New Yorker article about how this whole mess happened.